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Yet another flying moment!
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Those of you who have read some of my posts, know my love of flying. Let me elaborate a little - it isn't just the actual being on the plane and up 40 000 feet in the air in a tuna can with wings and some engines that a stray bird can bring down into a river. It starts with checking in and the people that work at the counter, too "friendly" to actually work at the gates or on the planes. Now we also have to pay for luggage that we check in - see I would bring the bag on board with me but not all my liquids fit into the ziploc bag that they provide. So before I have even gone through security I'm down $35 already. Speaking of security - it is like officiating in the NHL, make it consistent. In some places they are like leave your belt, shoes, watch on and other places it's get naked and we shall see if you don't beep.
Now to the flying, let's bring up turbulence. I was recently flying back from Florida and the pilot announces " I have put on the seat belt sign as we will be entering a zone of turbulent air in about 5 minutes" He knows it's there - GO AROUND IT! If you see a pothole while driving who aims for it? This numb nut says "Hey - let's see what can happen if we go through this zone of bad air" MORON! So as I sit white knuckled as we shake, rattle and roll - I wonder why not pump through some Buddy Holly or Richie Valens music to calm my nerves. The flight attendant, dressed like a slightly younger Larry King sees me clenched and asks me "Sir, do you not like turbulence?" What?! What kind of question is that - who in their right mnd likes a bumpy ride, where if you look out the window it looks like the wings may snap off. It isn't like say...liver. See I've tried liver and I don't like it - but no one should be subjected to seeing if they "care for" shake and bake while on a plane. If there was a poll of who likes turbulence and someone answers yes - it is very legal to slap them, maybe they like that too - a sudden jolt to the face.
Everyone tells me nothing can happen, it'll pass - it isn't the plane shaking, it is the air around the plane. Horse manure. A few days after I returned and my bowels returned to what I consider regular operation - a United flight from London heading to LA, made an emergency landing here in Montreal, why? They hit turbulence and 10 people were injured including a few passengers with fractures. I hope they all recover and I say to them - see you on the train next time we travel
Keep laughing, and stay on the ground
Joey |
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